Monday, January 5, 2009


... this is on a coffee cup I drink from every morning. One of my fourth graders gave it to me my last year of teaching right before my dad passed away; right before Aiden was born. She gave it to me as a Christmas gift in 2007. I didn't realize at the time, what a perfect gift it truly was.

The last few weeks I've thought and thought about 2008. So much hit me ... from a parent's death to new life to a move across country to starting a new life in a new area to a son going through puberty and a daughter wondering why all this is happening. A year of wonder, laughter, unanswered questions, sadness, joy, smiles, relief, new adventures, and so much more.

I can't say that 2008 was a HORRIBLE year - did pieces of it suck? You bet! It started out with my father's death in January; I still cry at least once a week missing him. But it's getting easier, day by day. I can't base 2008 after this though. He was sick with dementia for many years before this, 2006 & 2007 being his worst years. By January 2008 we took him off all medications and just let him be. Let him not get poked & prodded anymore. And in January 2008 he was set free ... and his family was by his side as he made his journey. We gained a guardian angel that day. Oh how I miss him! Damn how I miss him!

From there, two months later, Aiden was born - DEAF. Just when I thought I was picking myself back up - BAM - I was knocked back down. I cry still missing my dad, but I cried harder back then, for Aiden ... or really, realizing now, for me. I was devastated in a way I've never been devastated before. I was MAD. I was ANGRY. I was PISSED. And I didn't understand why all this was happening to me.

At that point, I went full force. To do everything I could to learn about this "deafness" I never even thought twice about happening to any of my children. But it did. And we dealt with it. Or should I say, we're dealing with it, pretty well I'd like to think.

We had a team that changed our view on what it means to be born deaf today. They provided us hope, wisdom, and faith. They taught us. Our team became our family; our strongest advocates, and I can't thank them enough for all they've taught us. I also met a wealth of moms on the web who were experiencing the same things I was as a parent of a deaf child(ren). A whole new group of friends, who just "get it".

On top of this all, my better half (really, he keeps me calm and so much more), who is a very morally right person, especially when it comes to his job, decided it was time to move on due to lack of the same morals from his upper management. And so, after 12 years, we uplifted our family, sold our house, packed our belongings, and moved across the country. Even though it was better for him, and in turn, better for us as well (because I've experienced first hand - if a man's not happy at their job, it's hard for them not to bring it home), we sacrificed the "material" life we lived for a happier one. The crazy part about this is getting the surgeon I wanted from day one to implant Aiden. We were meant to be here. No doubt.

In our new place we're still going full force and have found a new team for Aiden. Aiden's "therapy" has become part of our life. We talk to him in AVT (auditory verbal therapy) and he's getting it.

I can't say that 2008 was a horrible year. It had definitely been a very stressful one; one which I shed A LOT of tears; one with a lot of questions "WHY?", especially after Aiden's diagnosis when I thought I was going to break. But Aiden made me keep on keeping on. He changed my world - Aiden that is, along with a lot of faith and realization that my world is so not perfect (thank goodness, cause then it'd be boring right?!?)

Now I look back at 2008 and yes, I will always remember this year as the year my dad passed away, but first I will remember it as the year Aiden was born ... actually, I'll probably remember them both right together. But that's okay. Can it truly be a horrible year when my third child was born? Aiden filled that "grandpa" emptiness inside us all and his deafness has taught us so much. He continues to amaze us and entertain us everyday. He is such a happy baby, always smiling, always entertaining, always so ... AIDEN!


He makes our hearts melt, makes us smile, makes us laugh, makes me just cherish every moment I get with him. I am so blessed that the Lord gave him to me! He changed my world in 2008 ... and that alone, makes life good.

The other side of that coffee cup says, "Do what you like, like what you do".

And I do. I'm home now, through financial sacrifices, with all of my kids. I take Aiden to his appointments during the day so they don't interfere with my older kid's schedules. I get to work with Aiden everyday teaching him to listen. I get to be home when my older "lovelies" go tp school and then come home and they're just loving it.

Yes. I like what I do.

YES, Life is Good!

Happy 2009!


leahlefler said...

You have certainly had a full year - heartache and joy go hand in hand all too often. May 2009 bring only joy! And noise, too. Lots of noise for Aiden's new ears!

Lucas'Mommy said...

Honestly your post just made me cry... because we lived many of the same joys and sorrows in 2008. It's so nice to know that we're not alone. Happy 2009 to you! We have lots of new adventures ahead of us!

Julie said...

What a roller coaster of a year.

Life is hard, but it is good. God is better :0)

How long until implant day?

BeckyC said...

I miss ya'll so much too!!!! Can't wait to see more video clips!
Love Becky
kiss Aiden for me and sing him the airplane song!