Thursday, December 17, 2009
Monday, December 7, 2009
It's Christmas time. My FAVORITE time of the year. Time to kick those voices out of my head and let the stress go. Things will work out, they always do. It's time now for baking cookies, singing Christmas songs, playing in the snow, watching Aiden's eyes light up everytime he sees Santa Clause. It's time now to sit back and enjoy all the magical moments this wonderful season is all about.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Saturday, November 28, 2009
The Opportunity to Move - When we moved to Maryland, we knew it wasn't for good, that it would be a small chapter in our book of life. Well, we're about to start a new chapter. Aiden's daddy has been promoted and we're moving back home to the Midwest! We will be so much closer to family and friends and I cannot wait! The opportunities this move provides for our whole family are tremendous.
Memories - This time of the year is very hard for me. It seems like Thanksgiving two years ago was my father's last "good day". It was after this that things spiraled downward and before I knew it, his time to leave us and join his parents in Heaven had come. But this year, after a good healthy cry, I took a step back and smiled. I'm so thankful for all that he taught me, for all he was to me; so thankful Ryan and Kailyn got to know their grandfather and that he will always hold a special place in their heart. Thankful for the memories ... and the smiles these memories bring.
My Husband - We have been married for fifteen years and he is truly my best friend. He makes me laugh, he is my strength when I am weak, my confidant when I need to let it all out, my partner when making tough decisions, my everything. He works very hard to provide for our family which also allows me to stay home with Aiden. I miss him by the end of the day. For all he is and the unconditional love he gives, I am so thankful.
My Parents - A lot has gone on in our lives the past couple of years and without the lessons my parents taught me growing up, I don't know if I'd be as sane as I am today. One of the biggest lessons they taught me was to cope, not to run and hide. But even more so, to have faith, because even when it seems it can't get any worse, it will, BUT things will get better. And they do. Head up, open up that heart and mind, and face those "opportunities" head on knowing the good Lord above is right there beside you (and so is mom)! Thank you mom and dad ... for you two I will always be thankful!
Cochlear Implants - Of course I'm thankful for these every.single.day. I can only imagine how different our life would be without them. Yes, we'd learn ASL and we'd learn how to communicate in a different way than what we've ever known. It wouldn't be easy, but we'd do it. Because of CIs though, we don't have to. Aiden has been provided with a technology that gives him the choice to hear and therefore speak. Our deaf son is hearing all the beautiful sounds our world has to offer, hearing the laughter and sweet nothings from his family. And for this, I am beyond thankful.
A Happy Heart - smiles and laughter and hugs and kisses from my kids + memories + girlfriends nights out + in laws I absolutely adore + the purring of my cats + a niece or nephew on the way (finally on my side of the family) + the best grandparents + love all around + a ridiculously funny husband who loves and supports me very much and is my best friend + my amazing mom + the sound of my deaf son laughing and speaking + a nice glass of wine ALL EQUAL a HAPPY HEART ... and for this I am truly thankful.
and last but not least ... I am thankful for Aiden finally walking more than crawling, which will help me get less packing done for our move, and "Elmo" who is a huge help, especially while trying to pack!
(make sure to turn the music off on the left)
Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
I'm down on myself right now and I hate writing these posts, BUT, I think the reality of having a deaf/hoh child is that you have these days, no getting around them. I have reasons for being Miss Debbie Downer right now, which I'll get to. I truly believed that by the time my son was this age that he'd be further than he is ... because I've watched the videos, I've talked to moms.
I attend Auditory Verbal Therapy with him, I've put my career on hold and have become his full time mommy/primary therapist, I take him to an oral school so he can be around hearing peers for a language model along with their awesome language theme based program, I have a TOD and PT come to our house every other week, I read other's blogs and talk to other mommies to get ideas, I work, work, work, and work with my son (I mean PLAY, PLAY, PLAY), all to get these dang reports that make me wonder if I'm truly doing enough ... and now I'm finding out that we need to integrate even more therapies into our days ...
... and it is SO DAMN FRUSTRATING!
It all started Tuesday. Aiden has OT right after his class to help him with his gross motor skills (they don't have a PT program at the school, but still wanted to work with him). After his OT services, the therapist told me Aiden is having some fine motor skill issues and would benefit from at least an hour and a half of OT services per week. Great. Add it to the list.
THEN on the way home I open up the audiology report containing Aiden's soundbooth results.
NOTE TO ALL MOMS ... FOLLOW YOUR GUT! YOU ARE RIGHT! NO ONE KNOWS YOUR CHILD BETTER THAN YOU!
As I've written in the past, I was not happy at all with Aiden's last soundbooth/mapping appointment back in Sept. Going from 15-20 db across all frequencies to 25-30db was not okay with me. Plus I felt he just didn't react in the soundbooth like he normally does. I didn't feel good about any of it. I brought up my concerns with the audiologist (which wasn't his typical one), but was told things were just fine, he's doing great, 30 db is wonderful blah, blah, blah ... and I accepted it and went home, knowing my little rockstar had been at 15 to 20db since his first soundbooth after activation.
I then brought my concerns to his school audiologist to get a second opinion. She took our case history and got Aiden in the soundbooth as soon as she could, but he wouldn't perform. Then he had three ear infections, the flu, and respiratory issues all within the month. Finally last week, Aiden was cooperative, but she wanted to confirm her results the following school day - which was this past Tuesday.
When I looked at the results on my ride home my eyes just welled up with tears. I had known something wasn't right. Aiden flatlined at 40DB with his left ear, and with his right ear was at 30db/500hz, 55DB/1,000hz, and no response from there on out. My stomach hurt.
THE NEXT DAY (yesterday) we had an appt. at Hopkins with Aiden's primary audiologist and his school audiologist joined us there. His soundbooth results were better, but not much. The results showed he definitely needed some program changes, especially in the right ear where he was getting very little high frequency sounds. All I could think of was how we had to move forward ... don't think of the past, it was over.
Let's hope it's fixed. He'll be tested next week at school to verify he's still responding and then return to Hopkins in three weeks to check his maps again. We left there with four programs, one for noise, and two additional ones to work with if we feel he comes to another standstill. So glad his audi is back.
FAST FORWARD to today, parent-teacher conferences at Aiden's school. As we headed there, I read over the three page typed report from his teachers. There were A LOT of positives and he has transitioned well into a preschool setting. He likes school. But there's so much he needs to work on. A small example:
- Aiden does not yet respond to peers who approach him without prompts from the teacher. While cruising around the classroom he requires prompts to shift his attention to notice where his peers are and navigate his way around them.
- Aiden rarely turns to his name when called in the classroom (noise factor?) His teachers often have quite a bit of difficulty gaining his attention.
- Aiden is not yet finding items on request and requires physical prompts to follow routine directions.
- Aiden has difficulty attending to teacher directed activities even for a brief period of time (ex. reading a book).
- Aiden has very inconsistent visual attention to fine motor tasks which makes it more difficult for him to complete these tasks and sometimes requires cues to look at the toy while he plays.
I can't help but look at this, plus others that were listed and cringe. One part of me thinks I started him too early in school ... he should be at home with me. But then, how much farther would he be behind next year or the year after? The bigger part of me KNOWS these concerns need to be addressed now. He needs to start learning NOW to compensate for his hearing loss and learn how to be successful in an oral, mainstream classroom, with noise. I want him to learn these communication/cognitive/social development skills NOW as to not further delay him in his hearing and speaking.
All of this has been such a huge reminder that my child is DEAF and even with Cochlear Implants he is going to have challenges ... not just now, but always. and today, I.hated.it.I couldn't take anymore. We did discuss ways I can work, I mean PLAY, with him at home to help in these areas, but I'm feeling so spent. We're all hoping that a lot of these areas are due to his not hearing very well the past couple of months and that this revamp in his maps will increase his activity in the classroom as well as with his language.
THEN on the way home I opened up his Speech and Language Evaluation. Why do I do this to myself?!? I'm not even going to go there now. I'll write about it after his IEP meeting next Tuesday. I'll just say they weren't great. Definitely not what we see at home and reinforced my son is having trouble communicating in a group setting.
To end my day, I had a Dr. appointment for Aiden's sister to start her on ADHD meds (this is after a full evaluation including IQ and cognitive tests etc). By this time though I was done with any type of "test" results. While we were there I had them perform a basic hearing test (beeps and headphones) ... I wanted to rule everything out. Well, she was at 20 db in her left and at 40db in her right?!?! The Dr. said it could've been an attention issue. The test took five minutes, I know she has trouble sitting still, but not for 5 minutes! I have an email into our audiologist.
To overcome the whole day, on the way home we turned up the tunes, and JAMMED the whole way home ... SINGING our hearts out. I needed that. and the glasses of wine haven't hurt much either.
Monday, November 9, 2009
He has even attempted to say his own name, is sounds like "Ay-en"!
Aiden continues to try to walk. He's going further and further, but just is not taking off. He can walk clear across the living room, will look at us, then fall to his knees. Frustrating but good that he continues to try.
He is trying to blow ... bubbles, a piece of paper across the table, my hair, anything. We've been working on this to help him with his "oo". It's hilarious! He either lets out a big ol' raspberry or has a wide round mouth blowing out, like sounding out the letter h.
He is trying to imitate us more, but mainly just the number of syllables. For example, for banana, he will say "ah-ah-ah" or pumpkin (and open and many other two syllable words) he will say, "uh-um" or "ah-um" and with each one he inflects his voice.
He's trying out /p/. I have been working on p since last summer! He's been saying "uh, uh, uh" (up, up, up) for some time, but I've heard it with that /p/ a few times now. We've been blowing a lot of bubbles lately too to help that /p/ POP!
His receptive language is growing. I really need to sit down and write a list.
He doesn't cry anymore when I drop him off at school! He smiles! This is HUGE!
the BAD Aiden is still stuck on the same consonants and same vowels. We have m, b, d, and sometimes n (although it seems we've lost it). Then put these with the his vowels of "ah" and "uh", and so consists his vocabulary list.
Even with all the HallOOwEEn sounds of /oo/ and /e/, still nothing. For /oo/ we get a deep, nasally /m/ and for /e/ we get that gasping for air sound.
He's still not walking.
I have to say though that my little monkey makes me smile all.day.long. He has such a great personality, so much spunk, is such a little comedian, and truly is always happy (even when he is screaming, he laughs at himself when he's done ... he thinks it's funny ... I don't).
So there you have it ... so glad the "good" list is longer than the others! Although I have concerns with his expressive language and his maps, I do believe he's doing amazing. I look at him everyday and can't believe my baby is deaf. We have an appointment Wed. with our Hopkin's audiologist to hopefully clear up these mapping issues ... hope this adds more to our good list!
Sunday, November 1, 2009
but Aiden sat alongside daddy,
helping out the whole time!TrIcK aNd tReAt!!!
Kailyn was my little chef, head of the kitchen
while Aiden cleaned up the mess. After taste testing all our yummies,
the kids got all dressed up to
go collect even more sugar!
Aiden's sister was a "good" witch,
Aiden's brother put on his Yankees
Then there's my little monkey,
whose costume fit him perfectly,
in more ways than one.
(actually sitting in his stroller)
When we got home I went to change
and my little monkey immediately headed
to his favorite place - his sister's room
to find his own monkey business,
aka - up to no good.
The costume was definitely a good fit.
All in all, we had a
SpOoKtAcUlAr EvEnInG!Hope you did too!
Monday, October 19, 2009
We joined Aiden's school's team a few weeks back to help raise money not only for the HLAA, but also for his school. Christian's mom started this team last year and so we jumped on the bandwagon this year to help raise money for such an important cause. I have to shout out that our team had two of the top earners of the entire walk (YAY Stephanie and Tina!) AND was the number one fundraising team raising over $8,000, with half the money raised going directly to our children's school! WAY TO GO TEAM!
This would have been our first walk ever, but we were home sick with the flu (hence, no pictures)! ICK! I was so bummed we could not make the walk, but with our temperatures finally under control and still not feeling too great, I couldn't risk taking Aiden out in the 40 degree rainy damp weather. I could barely make it up and down the stairs carrying him, I doubt I would've made it the short 3.1 miles. Needless to say, I was VERY, VERY bummed, but I look forward to the next one! I heard regardless of the weather, there was a great turnout and the DC Walk4Hearing surpassed their total goal!
THANK YOU! THANK you! thank you! to all of you who made a donation in support of Aiden and helped us make this walk a success for such an important cause! It feels SO good to help give back to Aiden's school and the HLAA, both of which have been tremendous resources in our journey to help Aiden hear! Your generosities are truly appreciated!
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
- Aiden's not using the /oo/, /ee/, /s/ or /sh/ in any babbling or words. Nothing. Nada. Nilch. (I'm not as concerned about the /sh/ and /s/ as I know these come later). We work on them all the time - owls, cars, ghosts, etc. Yes he responds to them by pointing at his ear when I Ling check him, but who knows if he's really hearing the /oo/ and /ee/ like it's supposed to sound. I'm going to talk with his SLP about this more and get her opinion on it. Maybe it has something to do with his oral motor skills?
- Why aren't his maps ever tweaked? Right now we've been going in every three months. There hasn't been one change to any of his maps since the beginning of May.
- Why has he dropped so many of his words? I'm hoping it is because he's been trying out walking more. Many of you confirmed my standstill concerns and said that your children definitely have them, but again, with his most recent audiogram, I can't help but wonder.
To end, I have to share a recent video of my little monkey. All these concerns, and then he does this. Here he is showing off his mouth parts and demonstrating his progressing "h" sound (which he picked up by me saying "hot" every morning as I let him feel my coffee cup).
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
With fall in the air, what a better time to work on the two things that remind me most of this beautiful season - apples and leaves. We started with apples/fruits about a month ago, but added in leaves. We're slowly moving on to pumpkins/Halloween for our next theme.
Theme: Apples and Leaves
Functional Words in Phrases: cut, peel, more, bite, crunchy, smooth, down, uh-oh, eat, pick, pour ... etc.
- Up, Up, Up! It's Apple Picking Time, by Jody Fickes Shapiro
- Apples, Apples!, by Salina Yoon
- Apples, by Gail Gibbons
- Leaves, Leaves!, by Salina Yoon
- Leaves, Leaves, Leaves!, by Nancy Elizabeth Wallace
- It's Fall!, by Linda Glaser
Falling Apples (to the tune of London Bridges)
This is Aiden's favorite song for both apples and leaves (just replace apples with leaves) I use real leaves and real apples and do the motions as we sing.
See the apples falling down,
Falling down, falling down,
See the apples falling down,
Down to the ground.
Pick the apples and throw them up,
throw them up, throw them up.
Pick the apples and throw them up,
Up to the sky
Peel an apple, cut it up
Cook it in a pot, When you taste it
You will find, it's applesauce you've got!
Apples/All the Leaves are Falling (to the tune of Are You Sleeping?)
Apples are falling, apples are falling,
From the tree, from the tree.
Pick up all the apples, pick up all the apples,
One, two three. One, two, three.
Five Little Apples (similar to Five Little Pumpkins or Five Little Monkeys)
Five little apples hanging on a tree
The farmer didn't care
So guess who came to eat?
A caterpillar! Munch, munch, munch!
Repeat four more times using a different animal
(again, I use real apples and leaves and whatever toy animals/puppets I have. It's a lot of fun singing this with the names of people in your family too!)
We sing all these songs with props and Aiden is very active in it. He likes making the animals eat the apples and the leaves or picking up the leaves and throwing them in the air! Another idea is to use a felt board if you have one and use cut out felt apples and leaves.
With this theme, he's voiced apple a couple of times. I don't even know how to spell how he says it, but it's more of just the vowels "a - le" without too much of the /l/. I just can't get him to say that dang /p/! Whenever he sees an apple he does say "mmmmm" and rubs his belly! When I ask where the leaves are, he'll look up in the tree or throw his hands up.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Aiden had a mapping appointment a couple of weeks ago. I didn't feel my usual warm and fuzzies leaving that appointment, but then again, Aiden's booth test results weren't what I was used to seeing either, not bad at all, just not as good.
His last mapping was the beginning of June, in which nothing was changed. Aiden's audiograms have been at 15 to 20 db, sometimes dipping to 25db, since each ear's third mapping appointment. This recent appointment (his fifth soundbooth since right activation and third soundbooth since left activation) he was hitting the higher frequencies at 20 to 25 db, but the lower and mid frequencies he was at 25 to 30 db. I know this is still good ... amazing in fact, but to me, it was a drop in over 10 db at some points.
When I brought up that his past audiograms were from 15 to 20 db (with a speech awareness threshold of 10db), she told me that they don't like to see audiograms at 15db because hearing with a CI can get distorted at this point. Is this true? And if so, why was it okay in the past that Aiden was testing at this level and all was great? (his current audi is on leave, so this was a new audi that I felt very comfy with).
I walked out of there knowing that 25 to 30 db is still SO amazing and also took into consideration that Aiden was not his typical "great, easy to read" tester. There is typically no question when he hears a sound, as he looks right at the speaker it comes from. This time, he played shy, hung his head low. The audi. said she could tell when he heard something based on his eyes.
So my questions:
- How often are your child's maps adjusted?
- Have you ever heard that it's "not good" to be at 15db or lower with a CI?
- How long do your child's soundbooth/mapping appts typically last?
- What should I be looking for at this point to tell if Aiden's maps need adjusting?
- LVAS/EVAS moms/CI users - do you see good hearing days and bad hearing days due to the LVAS/EVAS?
- Did you find your child went through standstills with language development?
- The only lings Aiden is repeating at this point are /ah/ and /m/. We hear very few /oo/ in his speech, but no /s/, /sh/ or /e/. Should I be worried about this?
The other reason I'm getting more concerned about his recent results is that he seems to be at a standstill with language. Last month we had a small language explosion - new sounds, new words, and all with good consistency. In the last few weeks, we've seemed to have lost it.
For awhile, he was always saying "mil" (milk), "ah-da" (all done), and "um-um" (yum-yum), among a few others. He's not saying these nearly as much as he used to. Then again, we've began to focus on new vocabulary feeling he had these others down quite well. He has picked up a couple new words, such as "baaaa" (for sheep), "mmmma" (for cow), and "bock bock" (for chicken - thank you Elmo). We've been working on these "new" farm animal sounds since day one though. The only new vocabulary he's even tried to imitate is apple, and that was just a couple times. It seems he's resorted back to his good ol' "mmmmm" for everything he wants lately. I hold out though and keep repeating "more" or "milk" or whatever word it is I know he knows, and sometimes, he'll eventually say it.
This is such a hard stage. At home, when I do the lings, he responds by pointing to his ear and saying "ah-na" (I heard that). So I know he's hearing them. I just wish he could tell me what they sound like to him. I wish he could tell me if something sounds funny. It just all seems like such a guessing game right now. Ugh.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Then I get a phone call. I received a call tonight from a mom in Texas whose sweet baby girl didn't pass her newborn hearing screening. She's now five months old, has been wearing hearing aids since about six weeks old, is in AVT, and well on her way. We talked about the devastation felt when hearing the words "didn't pass", the "friendly", yet very awkward remarks on how "things could be worse" from family and friends, the "I'm so scared" of what's ahead. This is what I wanted from the get go ... to help newly diagnosed families in any way possible-it's what I love about this community of "friends". So, I emailed my new friend some resource links, some blogs to look at, and a big hug. Tomorrow I'm sending some pilot caps.
Then I thought about this poem and wanted to share it too. Even when first read, the thought of not being in Italy was stomach turning for me, but is Holland truly that bad? I've found not. In fact, I've found Holland to be just as beautiful and rewarding, it just took me a little bit more time to realize what a great trip it truly is.
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Fast forward to yesterday. and my experience,
as the mom in the waiting room with an 18 month old,
with "that equipment" we now can't imagine him without.
We walk in and Aiden immediately starts squiggling
I sit down, and Aiden hovers by my legs
Continues to show off as he does a nose dive over me
As I try to talk to him about the pumpkin and the ghost
that's when the nurse came to call us back
The nurse brings us back to the room, and
And I was worried.
and just for the record, his stats:
- 27 pounds 4 oz vs. 12 pounds at 2 mths
- 33 inches vs. 23 inches at 2 mths
- 50 cm head circumference ... and I only put this here because I had to laugh at the fact that his head size is in the 95th percentile!! Oh my boys and there noggins!
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
This trip to Aiden's school twice a week is hard. We leave before 7am every morning and are still late ... and class doesn't start until 8:30/8:45! The traffic is absolutely insane. The ride home is fine, it's getting there that's the problem and I'm starting to wonder if I really made the right decision to start him at such an early age.
I have to get Aiden up out of bed by 6:15am and throw him in the car for our two hour trek into D.C. I promise you, the other day it took me 25 minutes to travel from exit 28A to exit 28B. No joke. I truly don't mind the drive, but what I hate is the fact that during this time, Aiden's CIs become breakfast so he has no sound for the whole trip. Top that off with dropoff crying fits (ok, they don't last long, but it still breaks my heart) and I feel like a terrible mother.
I can't help but think:
- I started him too early.
- I'm losing good hearing/language opportunities during our travel time.
- He's crying when I drop him off, and
- Completely worn out when I pick him up.
- He's completely off schedule right now.
- How is he going to stay an extra hour once a week for private one on one therapy?
- Then he has AVT the one day in between his school days ... when does my baby get a break?
- He's reverted back to wanting the bottle even more, and I give in. It's the guilt.
These are all things that have been going through my mind nonstop and it makes me want to take my baby and stop it all.
Then I remember:
- Aiden says bah (ball)!
- When they ring the bell for circle time or clean up time, he not only hears it, but follows his classmates and participates in whatever they should be doing
- Sought out the teacher when his CI fell off! HELLO! He's NEVER done this at home ... until today, he SAID to me "on, on, on" and when I turned around, noticed his CI was off!
- Requested "uh, uh, uh" (up, up, up) when he wanted to wash his hands
- Is using the classroom climber unassisted ... remember, he's the only one in his class who is not walking, he's going to want to keep up sooner or later!
The hard work is now. The pay off is slow ... but it's definitely showing it's presence.
When Aiden was born, I wasn't ready to hear he was deaf. I tried to ignore it. Not believe it, that there was something that would just "fix" it and he'd be fine.
But there wasn't a cure. So we grieved and forged forward.
Now Aiden's a full fledged toddler with cochlear implants. I'm not ready for this hectic schedule and feel guilty for how busy we are. But I can't ignore it. He's in a prime learning stage. I wish everyday that there was an easy fix for him. I wish everyday things were easier for him. I wish everyday he didn't have to work so hard to learn to listen and speak.
But he does. So we forge forward.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Outside the fact that this makes me laugh out loud, I love it for many reasons:
- I need to put the cats' bowls up because Aiden tries to eat from them instead of dump them all over like he used to.
- He's showing the beginnings of imaginative play.
- He's hearing our cats eat/drink and therefore imitating the sound and actions they make!
- At the end, he totally reads his dad's lips (his dad is not signing, yet Aiden signs back his version of cat) ... not that I LOVE this as we don't emphasize lip reading, but isn't it amazing how he's already teaching himself to understand what's being said when he's without his CIs (he had just gotten out of a bath).
and when the cat bowls are up, Aiden will dump his snack bowl on the floor, get on his belly or all fours, and eat up his snack like a dog or cat would. Oh if he would only say "meow" or "cat" now!
Thursday, September 10, 2009
It's at 11:30 and the time just.does.not.work. BUT, it's the only time that's available right now, unless I want to take a late afternoon appt. and guess what, I don't. The drive is already 30 to 40 minutes, and although Aiden's missing his morning nap, not getting lunch until we get back, I feel the need to be home for my third grader when she walks through that door. I hate it for Aiden, yet she's still too young to come home to an empty house. Not happening. Not yet.
As I'm driving, I am feeling out of control with so much to do. Have to go here, need to do this, can't believe I forgot to rent Kailyn's violin since practice started TODAY, does Ryan have lunch money, we need milk, and I'm feeling like a crazed, frantic mom with a to-do list a mile long when all I want to do is go home and play with my little monkey ... or maybe not ...
because truly, at the moment, all I wanted to do was drop Aiden off with his dad at work and go have lunch on a patio with some good wine, good food, and good friends. Now that's a good stress reliever. BUT, back to reality, NOT HAPPENING.
So as I'm driving, I'm thinking of all the things I didn't get done/things I needed to do and just start laughing. We as moms put so much on our shoulders to be PERFECT. Perfect for our kids. Perfect for our husbands. Perfect for our parents. Perfect for our friends. Perfect for everyone but ourselves. When is the last time you truly did one good thing for yourself EVERY.SINGLE.DAY.OF.ONE.WHOLE.WEEK ? Okay, that's a lot to ask, so how about at least one day in one week?
Moms tend to take care of others first and themselves last. Then throw in one or more of any of the following: having more than one child, having a child with special needs, working full or part time, being a single parent, taking care of a parent(s), etc. etc. AND not to mention, whatever personal problems that may arise. I know I am just worn out by the end of the day. Why is this? Truly, if we took care of ourselves first everyone would be a lot happier, because mom would be happier. Right?
When I got home, I did myself an injustice and looked at my schedule for the next week and wish I hadn't. I had to let it go. So I went and poured myself a glass of wine.
That's when I realized I seriously need to start scheduling in some "ME" time ... and not just saying it, but actually writing it down on those great white board calendars for everyone.in.the.house.to.see. Because you know, if I'm going to get that "mom of the year award" (NOT), I better take care of me first.
Well, then fast forward to tonight. Hmmm, far from perfect.
Aiden's older brother had a baseball game. This place was not close, and in an area I've never been. This meant getting there, to say nicely, sucked and was very stressful (even with Miss GPS aka Miss B&*ch). On top of it all, Aiden's daddy had to work and I knew by the time I got home it would be too late for baths. So, here I go again, rushing to get homework completed, dinner done, baths over, on the road (realizing half way there that Aiden was missing a CI - oh the stress) and back home three hours later only to realize,
I fed everyone...
Do I still get a trophy?
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
On our way to school!
Aiden's cubby with the caterpillar he colored at the teacher's homevisit.
Aiden had a wonderful first day! For the last week, we've been talking to him about school and showing him pictures of his teachers, the classroom, and the playground to help prepare him for the transition. Once in his classroom, he immediately wanted to get down and play and from then on, he didn't look up more than twice to see if we were still there. He was good to go. His speech pathologist told us he cried a total of five minutes for the three and a half hours there. Pretty good for a boy who's never left his mommy's side!
I LOVE to draw!
Here's what Aiden did on his first day (per an email from his teachers, which we will receive each day detailing specific activities from class):
- Sensory Table - Use cups to scoop and pour colored water.
- Circle Time - Teachers will introduce our name song and we will meet a caterpillar and a butterfly puppet.
- Dramatic play/theme - We will play with caterpillar and butterfly puppets and pretend to feed them the food from the story of "The Very Hungry Caterpillar".
- Art - We will use dot markers to decorate caterpillars for our classroom window.
- Books - "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" by Eric Carle and our class book, "Caterpillar, Caterpillar, Who Do You See?"
- Mouth Time - We will have fun with bubbles and introduce our Mouth Time character.
The day ends with some fun playground time!
Aiden was very excited to see us at the end of class. After his daddy picked him up, he took one look at his teachers, waved bye-bye and blew them a kiss. The boy was ready to go. He was asleep within five minutes in the car. They wore him out!
Oh, and a lot of these pictures of him throughout the day came from his teachers to us in an email, detailing Aiden's first day! Did I tell you how excited I am for my little monkey?!?
Sunday, September 6, 2009
the way he says,
the kisses he gives
belly laughs at hearing the simple whisper of "t,t,t,t,t",
the constant gibber gabbers and pointing,
to explore the many different sounds
the way he wrestles with his brother and sister,
the excitement he shows
how he races his cars and trucks,