Tomorrow we leave for Daytona, Florida for a week. I can't tell you how excited I have been all day, yet tonight I feel some kinda sadness inside of me ... sorta like that feeling where all you want to do is have a good cry, get it out, and feel great again. I don't know if it's Aiden, my dad (I've really been having a hard time with his loss lately) or about this precious baby I rec'd an email about tonight.
When I say Aiden, it's not in a "woe is me" kind of way. He does not make me sad. His hearing loss no longer makes me sad. I hate that he has to go through so much, but I wouldn't change anything about him. He is wonderful, happy, loving, just absolutely amazing! And he makes me feel all of these as well! In fact the other day I was thinking about how I felt in the beginning of this journey. How I cried, how I thought my world was crumbling down around me. Oh how I prayed and prayed and prayed for a miracle. I prayed that God would give Aiden the miracle to hear. The other day I realized God has already given me my miracle ... my binky boy, my Aiden. And the wonderful technology that is out there today will LET AIDEN HEAR! What more could I ask for? What do I have to be sad about? It's all going to be just fine. Aiden's going to be just fine. I just know it.
Then I saw this email tonight on this precious little boy, Eliot. I cried. I cried for his parents and I cried for his short life. As I cried I couldn't even look at my baby because I knew I would totally lose it! All I could think was HOW LUCKY AM I?!?! Aiden has a loss, his hearing, but not even close as what other children's loss may be, not even close what other parents have to go through. This is a journey, and I'm not saying it's an easy one, but it's a GREAT one, because in the long run, AIDEN WILL HEAR, and if, for some forbidden reason Aiden can't hear, AIDEN WILL SIGN, and AIDEN WILL BE OKAY! I think, as I type this, this is why I feel a loss in my heart tonight. It's for all the brave parents out there who have to endure so much more than I could ever even imagine. I will never forget Eliot. Even though I don't know his parents, I have to thank them for sharing their beautiful story about their beautiful boy. Thank you for providing me even more courage to continue on Our Journey to let Aiden hear.
4 comments:
Holy Cow...the precious baby story touched my heart as tears fell down my face. It does remind us that someone is always going through something far worse than we are. Thanks for sharing that. I hope ya'll have a great time in Florida and I will give Mike a call and check on Aiden! Touch the sand and ocean for us!
That sweet baby Eliot... stories like that wrench my heart from my chest. Every day is a blessing, and things like that make you stop and take stock of all the everyday miracles in your life.
I'm only mildly jealous that you're going to the beach! Have a great time and don't forget the sunscreen!
Thank you for post the story about Eliot, I was crying all the way through it.
As I watch Jordan crawling over to the stairs and having to tell him "no" for the thousandth time today( ok so it was only 5 this morning) I am so thankful for the health and well being of my children, what more could I ask for? Every day with them is a blessing and they are teaching me new things each day.
Everything you said is EXACTLY how I feel except that I am not 100% over the being sad because Courtney can't hear part. I am working on it and stories like Eliot's sure get me closer every day. Thanks for sharing your journey!
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