Sunday, July 27, 2008

Reminding Myself ...

that everything has to be day by day and step by step. It's been a rough week ... not so much with Aiden, but more so with the loss of my father. I am having a harder time with his loss lately than with Aiden's hearing loss.

When I first learned of Aiden's hearing loss, I didn't think I'd ever heal from it. It knocked me down and I didn't think I'd be able to pick myself back up. I felt lost, I felt scared, REAL scared. I cried and cried. I didn't think I'd make it through. Then I read and I researched and I talked to people and I realized everything was going to be okay ... that my baby was going to be just fine and we would adjust to whatever we needed to; we would learn whatever we needed to learn; we would do whatever we needed to do to make the best life for him.

And we are doing all of this and more, but I miss my dad, I miss him being a part of such a HUGE period in my life. He lived for his grandkids - he loved his babies. I often imagine what he'd been like with Aiden. He would have mourned with us, but would of had that take take charge attitude of "this is who Aiden is and we will love him for who he is and do what it takes to get through this." My dad would already have every DVD on sign language, have signed up for courses, looked at anything to buy off of tv or in ads on hearing loss, anything to do with hearing loss, he'd be ready. When it came to his family, especially his grandkids, noone could stop him, they were his life.

I've never lost someone like this before ... especially someone I took care of. I think that's the hardest part

I thank God everyday for my baby boy and his brother & sister, I thank God everyday for my life, I thank God everyday for

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