A Walk Back Into Time

Tonight we found two old video cameras. Not that we didn't know where they were. 

Just didn't realize we weren't missing them until tonight.

My heart was taken back. You know, like when you hear a song on the radio

and it completely brings you back to the moment?

I was so scared.

and I didn't realize how scared I was,

until I was brought back to THOSE moments.

SO scared.

The days of trying to understand the words, 

"It's probably just fluid" to,

"Your son has profound sensorineural hearing loss" to

not realizing that what this meant was "Your son is DEAF."

The days of pre-hearing aids to

the days of hearing aids. and all the buzzing. and pilot caps.

The days I wondered and worried. 

wondered and worried and prayed. 

The days of the unknown,

clinging to every ounce of HOPE.

 HOPE he had hearing nerves.

HOPE he would be a good candidate for CIs.

HOPE one day I'd hear his laughter and he'd hear my "I love you's".

HOPE that ONE DAY he'd hear and speak.

HOPE that he would not be held back.

It brought me back to a time, not forgotten, yet left behind. 

My stomach turned, tears rolled down my face, 

as I watched myself performing AV strategies,

with a THREE month old

who probably didn't hear a word I said.

Yet, I smiled.

and cried some more,

then smiled.

Within minutes of watching, my heart dropped,

yet,

seconds later, filled with peace and happiness.

Because within those few moments of being brought back

to a time of the unknown,

it also proved to me,

JUST.HOW.FAR.WE'VE.COME.

every ounce of hard work.

every.single.day of reading book after book,

every.single.day of BELIEVING.

every.single.day of singing song after song,

and narrating every little thing I did,

every.single.day of working so hard to introduce as much

spoken language and listening opportunities as possible,

to our DEAF child,

made a difference.

because our DEAF child IS HEARING AND SPEAKING!

hearing.and.speaking.

and going back tonight, to real time

of what seems so long ago,

has made me realize, 

JUST.HOW.FAR.HE'S COME.

just how much,

HE LOVES TO HEAR.

just how much,

HE TALKS!

just how much,

OF A TROOPER HE IS

because even with three plus years of appointment after appointment,

and still many more to come,

he continues to be one of the HAPPIEST kids I know.

and reminds me just how much this journey truly is

 SIMPLY AMAZING.

Right after watching the videos, I put on Aiden's pajamas,

which I always take his CIs off and he can't hear a thing.

after pjs, we usually only put on one CI,

(to verify how he's hearing with that CI alone)

and for the first time ever I asked,

"Aiden, do you want just one CI?"

and he replied,

"No mommy, two please."