Thursday, September 4, 2008

Just a Little Stressed

I didn't realize when I woke up this morning how stressed I was about Aiden's MRI & kidney ultrasound tomorrow. I woke up to a call from the realtor's office that they wanted to do TWO showings on my house between 9 and 12 (yeah?!). WHAT?!? That's great and all, but I had to get Kailyn to school, Aiden fed, me ready, and clean, clean, clean ... all within less than an hours time.

SIDE NOTE: I've been meaning to post about our upcoming move, but have been way too busy. So there's a good possibility we're moving to Maryland, a state I do not know, but am sure will come to love. What's crazy is that when I first learned of Aiden's deafness, I did a lot of research. I told my husband, "We have to move to Maryland. I want Dr. Niparko (from John Hopkins) to implant his CI's." I then learned there are many GREAT CI surgeons throughout the nation, but there was something about John Hopkins. Mike hadn't planned this job. This job fell in his lap. How crazy is that? It was meant for us to be up there. So ... it's in the works, we're leaving within 4 - 6 weeks and I'm a nervous wreck about the whole thing. Gotta pack, gotta get all of Aiden's appts./records complete so we don't have any delays on getting his CI surgery, gotta find him a new team up there (which is so hard, because we have an AWESOME team for him here), gotta sell this friggin house, gotta find a new house, gotta, gotta, gotta do a WHOLE lot. So there's my "moving" post in a nutshell! I'll leave out all the emotion because right now I just don't have time for it! I do have to say that this wonderful mommy was a huge help in bringing some peace of mind about the area and has me very excited about it! *big sigh and a smile*

Anyway, (sorry, my ADD kicked in there) it wasn't until the lovely Miss Diana from my hubby's work said to me "Good luck with Aiden's MRI tomorrow", that I realized, holy shit. His MRI is tomorrow. My baby is going under. And it ALL hit ... I had to leave and as I drove away I just started to cry. I'm so excited to get this piece of the puzzle finished, but I HATE all my binky boy has to endure! I've accepted his deafness. I love every bit about him and wouldn't change a thing, but this is just a small piece of what he has to come. I hate that he has to get sedated. I hate they're going to have to poke and prod him. I hate that I'm going to have to sit there and be so strong for him when all I really want to do is cry like a baby myself and take this all away from him.

And yet, this is just the beginning. The beginning of letting Aiden hear. There will be more poking and prodding. There will be SO many more appointments we have to run to. There will be so much more going on than there is now in my busy, busy life. And even though I hate that my baby has to go through all of this, I know the day that I hear my baby tell me "I love you mommy" and he hears me say it back, all this craziness, all this nervousness, all this nonstop worry, will be well worth every bit. Well worth it all, for my little man.


leahlefler said...

The medical stuff sucks. Every test means you are one step closer, but it still sucks! The MRI wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, and they didn't poke Nolan until he was already asleep (which was rather considerate). I'll be thinking of you tomorrow!


elizabeth said...

Hope it goes well -- you'll be in my prayers!

Julie said...

Wow, Tammy!

So much to do!

Guess what's great about this... Aiden is so little that he won't have any memory of it. Probably by Monday. (Not an insult to HIM, mind you!)

One of my kiddos had to have hand surgery at 1, and again at 2.5. The second surgery he had a rough time coming out of anesthesia. (Not scary, just unpleasant.)

We forgot his blanky at the surgery center, and dropped by to pick it up a couple days later. If he had any memory of any unpleasantness, there was no sign of it. :0)

It's much harder on you than on him! Praying for you both for tomorrow...


kkohler said...

I am hoping all went well today. I'll keep checking for an update and good luck with the move, selling the house, etc.